Talking to your kids about cancer
At Medical City Healthcare, we know that talking to your kids about cancer isn't easy. We offer helpful tips, tools and resources so you can have an open and honest conversation.
Below is the accessible version of the “Frankly Speaking About Cancer: What Do I Tell the Kids?” presentation shown in the Talking to your kids about cancer video:
Slide 1
Frankly Speaking About Cancer
What Do I Tell the Kids?
Slide 2
Workshop Overview
- What kids understand
- Talking about cancer
- Tips for answering questions
- Ways to help your child
- Questions
- Resources
Slide 3
Developmental Understanding
What Children Understand and Common Behaviors and Feelings They Experience
“I feel things needs to be approached differently for different kids/personalities. It is not a ‘one size fits all’ thing even with siblings. Kids today should not be forced to act, feel, etc., a certain way.” – Mother and breast cancer patient
Slide 4
Infancy-Toddlerhood (0-2 Years)
What Children Understand
- No understanding of cancer
- Able to sense changes in routine
- Aware of changes in behavior/feelings of those around them
Common Behaviors & Feelings
- Tantrums
- Changes in eating and sleeping
- Separation anxiety
Slide 5
Preschool (3-5 Years)
What Children Understand
- Some understanding of simple illness (e.g. cold)
- Little understanding of serious illness (e.g. cancer)
- Magical thinking
Common Behaviors & Feelings
- Regression
- Bursts of emotion
- Repeated questions
- Separation anxiety
- Playing/acting out themes related to illness
Slide 6
School Age (6-8 Years)
What Children Understand
- Can usually understand the difference between simple and serious illness
- Misinformation
- Magical thinking
Common Behaviors & Feelings
- Regression
- Worry/fear
- Repeated questions
- Separation anxiety
- Playing/acting out themes related to illness
- Anger if routine is disrupted
- Distancing themselves
Slide 7
Middle School Age (9-12 Years)
What Children Understand
- Often have basic understanding of cancer
- Misinformation
- Magical thinking
Common Behaviors & Feelings
- Hiding feelings
- Worry/fear
- Anger if routine is disrupted
- Express fear and sadness as anger
- Embarrassment
Slide 8
Teens (13-18 Years)
Common Behaviors & Feelings
- Independence vs. staying close to family unit
- Anger if routine is disrupted
- Hide feelings
- Take out frustration and anger on family
What Children Understand
- Basic understanding
- Misinformation
- Thinking more about life and death/the meaning of life
Slide 9
Talking About Cancer
“My children would rather I communicate openly than leave it to the imagination. While imagination is great, in this case, knowing the bad results that cancer can lead to, they would rather have the knowledge.” – Father and colon cancer patient
Slide 10
Talking About Cancer
- Preparing yourself
- Timing your conversation
- Language
- Physical presence (when conversation doesn’t come easily)
- Key points
- Open communication
66% of parents answering a CSC survey said that their child(ren) did not talk openly with them or share their feelings about cancer.
Slide 11
Ways to Help Your Child
Tips and Tools for Helping Your Child
- Open communication
- Share and validate feelings
- Maintain routine
- Stick to the rules
- Allow kids to help
- Connect with school
Slide 12
Ways to Help Your Child
When to Seek Outside Support
- Extreme changes in behavior
- Isolation
- Difficulty at school
- Lost interest in activities
- Desire to hurt themselves or someone else
Slide 13
Frankly Speaking About Cancer Book
- Frankly Speaking About Cancer: What Do I Tell the Kids?
- For more information on:
- A child’s general understanding of cancer
- Ways to talk to them
- Common behaviors
- Ways to support
Slide 14
CSC Radio Show
- CSC hosted a radio show on talking with your kids about cancer “Encore Presentation: My Parent has Cancer and it Really Sucks”
Slide 15
Learn More
Cancer Support Community (CSC) www.CancerSupport
Children’s Treehouse-Climb Program
Slide 16
Cancer Experience Registry
A Program of the Cancer Support Community
Slide 17
Join Our Grassroots Movement
Cancer Support Community
Be an advocate for people impacted by cancer
- Help ensure that people touched by cancer have access to quality, comprehensive cancer care that includes social and emotional support.
- This community will provide you the opportunity to:
- Get up-to-date information on key issues that are important to patients with cancer and their loved ones
- Be part of a network that interacts with Capitol Hill and other policymakers on important issues to cancer patients
- Have your voice heard along side other voices of patients with cancer and their loved ones
- To join, visit www.CSCAdvocate.org
Slide 18
Questions?